conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
