i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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