I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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