I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
