I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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