I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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