That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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