smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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