Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
