Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
