Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They have beer where we have blood.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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