Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
