So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
