the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
