I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I pour the whiskey from now on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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