Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
