Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
