so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
