i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
God I need to hump something, right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
