does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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