Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
