Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
