Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
