Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
