the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
