8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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