wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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