in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
