i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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