that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
