yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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