I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Randomize
