i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
