member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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