ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
