My nipple is on Facebook.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize