maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
