i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
