i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
