She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
