I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She bit a glass in half.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
