handjob tips. give me some.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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