I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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