in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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