remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize