Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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