she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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