At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
