she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
