and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize