i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
