I just saw a hot homeless man
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
