someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
