Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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