Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
