Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
