Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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