no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Congratulations! We have a period
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize