if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize