Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
