if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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