Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
