No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
