drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You did what with his pubic hair?
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