If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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