You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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