ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
