How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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