this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
