Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
