kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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