you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
