I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
