i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
id be glad to
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
