I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
